Penpals

"You will always be a scaredy cat sucking up to the shit they throw in your face.", she told herself wipping away tears from her flushed face, wishing she was one of those heartless people who could stomp upon everyone's heart like it was no big deal. Sometimes she wished she could scream right in their faces, the people who looked at her with disgust, spoke to her in angry tones as if insinuating her of her existence.  Every step she made, every word she said, she was judged and ridiculed for, no matter how hard she would think before doing it or saying it. No matter how much love she poured upon them or how hard she tried to get their attention, the only attention she ever got was that of disgust. She would always think to herself, "Everything is gonna change one day________or will it not?" With mixed feelings of a determination and doubt, she would pass her days lonely. Quietly working upon her life and herself. Until one day she became someone. Someone who e

  Why is it that some people always have to ask for love? Why is it that everyone is so reluctant too shy towards afew but be showering their love upon others? Begging someone for a little love in this vast deserted life. Do they not know how difficult it is to keep your ego aside and ask for a little love, a few words of compassion. And how we hate ourselves little by little after having to have asked for something people get in bundles.  People say there is someone for everyone. Someone who would help you lift yourself up, love yourself and grow as person. And you see everyone having that someone when you are stumbling upon temporary people shamelessly asking for a little love. Oh! how it makes you lose the little respect you have for yourself. So you try to keep away the next time. Pressing yourself, clenching your heart just to preserve your dignity. But you lose, don't you? And you go back to the toxic cycle of love and hate and people gaslighting you. With every ignore you h

This world seemed utopic the moment they met. The moon was shining a bit brighter and the sky was studded with stars that night. The breeze was gentle carrying the scent of roses from a garden near by. Everything ordinary appeared extra beautiful.  Its was love at first sight... They waited for hours, days and months to get to see each other again wondering what the other person was doing. Were they in love with them as much. Or had they already forgotten them. Impatient to talk to eachother.  Fate worked in their favour finally.  A new story began : The Spring:   They saw gardens and sunset and birds and buterflies, held hand and heard together the nature's songs. The Summer :  It was a blazing season that year but even the heat had nothing to hold infront of their passion. They thought they kill for one another. But sometimes they would argue so much so someone might have thought they could kill each other. The Autumn :  Everything started to fall apart. There were more arguments

So you say, you loved them and so you wanted to protect it from all the bad that had happened to you. You wanted them to not scar in the spots as you. You didn't want them to shed tears on their pillows every night. But that made you grow, didn't it. Thats what matured you. Thats what made you in the person you are today. And don't you think you would most likely repeat the same mistakes in again, given the chance?   Then why do you think halting someone's most needed experience in the process of growth is loving? Do we all not break our hearts once or twice? Do we all not yearn for something so bad, something that we end up losing? Do we all not get tired every night after a long day of running after things that are never ours? Do we all not cry every night or a night every week or month over the things that made our hearts ache? But then did we not learn from it? Did we not learn how to heal our hearts? Did we not learn how to give up our most precious belongings for

Why is it so difficult to cry sometimes? Why are the people who cry or show emotions considered weak? Sadness is a just as human emotion as happiness. Then why do people take expressing sad emotions as weak? What is this stigma associated with sadness, anxiety and depression? I believe, crying and showing sad and dark emotions is rather brave . And if you happen to find the right person to show them to, you might even b ecome happy. Sadness isn't bad, crying isn’t bad at all pretending to be happy is.  Sadness is just an emotion we feel as a reaction to our treatment by others. Stop putting that happy face on all the time (which takes a lot of inner strength as well). But trust me being vulnerable sometimes feels good. Its good let a few tears roll down your cheeks.  While it might appear difficult to make someone understand your tears, try it. You may find answers, and a true friend who would stick by your side forever. With that, collect someone else