Scaredy cat!
"You will always be a scaredy cat sucking up to the shit they throw in your face.", she told herself wipping away tears from her flushed face, wishing she was one of those heartless people who could stomp upon everyone's heart like it was no big deal. Sometimes she wished she could scream right in their faces, the people who looked at her with disgust, spoke to her in angry tones as if insinuating her of her existence.
Every step she made, every word she said, she was judged and ridiculed for, no matter how hard she would think before doing it or saying it. No matter how much love she poured upon them or how hard she tried to get their attention, the only attention she ever got was that of disgust. She would always think to herself, "Everything is gonna change one day________or will it not?" With mixed feelings of a determination and doubt, she would pass her days lonely. Quietly working upon her life and herself. Until one day she became someone. Someone who everyone looked upto.
Everyone who had left her at some point came running back. Wanting a piece of her victory, claiming to have played a role in her success when she knew it was all her hardwork and determination. Life had served everyone alright. Today she was someone they aspired to become like. But now that everyone wanted a fragment of her attention, she was too done with everything that had to do with them. Although, at times she would wish she could give it all away for a little human connection to feel a little less alien among these selfish little humans, still she was thankfull for that lonliness because it helped her understand herself well for now she knew how to love herself and put herself first.
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I think it's true that people with a high self-esteem tend to be less selfish.
ReplyDeleteBut I also think that when you're feeling insecure and like you've been treated unfairly, it can make you feel like the world is against you and your self-worth is really low. And then when someone does treat you badly, it can make you feel like they don't even care about you as a person—they just want something from you.
Insecurity can make people act in ways that are ruled by their own feelings rather than the needs of others. That's why I think self-love is so important!
Self love is a acquired skill. One that we lose and gain multiple times in life. Its an easy said than done job, difficult to be done by so many of us out there. So i think what matters is the determination to keep moving in the right direction, in hope for a good tomorrow.
DeleteBut the thing is, almost everyone appears weary of this world, inflicted upon by others. Whats difficult to understand is why would we as humans, who have gone through similar trauma in life make others go through it? Is it some sort of coping mechanism or defense?
I think the answer is that you should not judge them for the actions of their brain. The brain is a complicated organ, and its function depends on many factors. When someone has been traumatized by something, their brain has been altered in some way: maybe they have trouble remembering things or they are afraid of losing someone special or they can’t sleep of judged wrongly by his special one. These are all things that make sense for someone who has experienced trauma—but it doesn’t mean those same people are bad people or hypocrites or liars.
DeleteFurthermore, one of the worst things people do is ignoring someone who needs help. I know this is a difficult thing to do, but it's important to remember that we all have a responsibility to make sure people are safe and cared for.
Likewise, another thing that people do is use their power to take advantage of others. This can be done both physically and psychologically, so it's important for us to remember that no one has the right to treat anyone else poorly or with disrespect. Besides, some people try to make it seem like they're doing something good when in fact they're not. It can be hard for them to admit when they're actually being bad and hurtful, but it's important for us all to remember that everyone deserves compassion and care.
Finally, I don't think we should give trauma to others. We should be kind, and we should try to help others. If someone has done something bad to us, then we can tell them so it won't happen again instead of believing that the best way to heal is to give the traumas we get in the past from bad people to someone who truly love and care about us.
You're so right.
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