Penpals

Sometimes I pretend to be all grown up and moved on with life but truth is I still miss you. Your innocence, your uncontrollable laughter, your big ideas about life. How you would jump out of excitement when you would encounter change. How happy you would become when you met new people, telling them about all the stories you knew, new and old. How you would dance in the rain. How you would get over things that were meant to hurt you. How you loved people. How you never noticed the flaws with in them, instead you saw beauty.  I still remember the days when you would talk to animals, flowers, the moon and the stars. I still remember how you would weave your dreams, day and night and the plans you made. How with every defeat and betrayal you still saw the best in people. you would make yourself believe that you could move mountains if you put yourself upto it. How you waited for that one human to show up_your person. But nothing went as you planned, people changed on and on again. The...

  Life has been a little rough lately. I had to choose a lot and make some very important decisions. Which got me thinking about the fact how at some point in your life you have to give up on certain thigs that are a part of your identity to achieve things that have been you dreams since the time you started to understand the meaning to the word dream. Its like losing a piece of yourself to create another. Not knowing whether the other one is gonna fit or not. A bittersweet feeling of inevitable loss and a new beginning.  The feeling of uncertainty of whether you should move forward with your life or turn around. So you stop for a moment and wait for your past to hug you from behind but then there is no-one ever coming to hold your hand and stop you. In that moment, you realise that all those people you tried to please all these years wee not your people to begin with and you had wasted you precious time and emotions filling a cracked pot that had been leaking all along. So, y...

 Its was August the 20th when the first wilted leaf of autumn fell in her garden. There was something about the sad atmosphere of Autumn. With every passing minute every colour she liked faded away. And with every fading colour her heart wilted away. She mourned the blossoms she lost, the birds that chirped on her balcony every morning, and the warm and fresh breeze of spring. She missed everthing about it. It was the only season she had known. She had forgotten about the others lost in the beautiful utopia of the "everything pretty season". She had never dreaded Autumn. She had never thought it would come. So when she the wilt appeared she never gave it much thought but when the breeze turn to gusts and and the blossoms started to wither, she realized that it would be soon when all the remnants of the spring will be gone. Even the little things that reminds her of that one beautiful season that she loved once.  Moments passed. Seconds turned to minutes minutes to days and da...

  All your life you kept on believing people hate you. They dont see you worthy. They don't welcome you when you're trying so hard to fit in. When it was not them all along. It was always you who didn't like yourself. YOU, who didn't see yourself worthy.   So you worked twice as hard as others, trying to please others because that was the only way you'd ever please yourself. You thought if you could make people happy, you could be happier yourself. When all it did was cost you your peace and happiness. Giving a piece of you a day everyday gave noting in return but a space so big even a galaxy wont fill in.  BUT was it worth it? Was it worth losing yourself. Because it ended up wounding you  anyways. If anything it cut you even deeper. Hurt you even more. So nobody was happy in the end, not you, not them, noone. You never chose yourself. Never loved yourself. When it always had to be you. You had to love you  you had to choose you. So how were you ever gonna b...