Penpals

  Why is it that some people always have to ask for love? Why is it that everyone is so reluctant too shy towards afew but be showering their love upon others? Begging someone for a little love in this vast deserted life. Do they not know how difficult it is to keep your ego aside and ask for a little love, a few words of compassion. And how we hate ourselves little by little after having to have asked for something people get in bundles.  People say there is someone for everyone. Someone who would help you lift yourself up, love yourself and grow as person. And you see everyone having that someone when you are stumbling upon temporary people shamelessly asking for a little love. Oh! how it makes you lose the little respect you have for yourself. So you try to keep away the next time. Pressing yourself, clenching your heart just to preserve your dignity. But you lose, don't you? And you go back to the toxic cycle of love and hate and people gaslighting you. With every ignore you h

 Its was August the 20th when the first wilted leaf of autumn fell in her garden. There was something about the sad atmosphere of Autumn. With every passing minute every colour she liked faded away. And with every fading colour her heart wilted away. She mourned the blossoms she lost, the birds that chirped on her balcony every morning, and the warm and fresh breeze of spring. She missed everthing about it. It was the only season she had known. She had forgotten about the others lost in the beautiful utopia of the "everything pretty season". She had never dreaded Autumn. She had never thought it would come. So when she the wilt appeared she never gave it much thought but when the breeze turn to gusts and and the blossoms started to wither, she realized that it would be soon when all the remnants of the spring will be gone. Even the little things that reminds her of that one beautiful season that she loved once.  Moments passed. Seconds turned to minutes minutes to days and da

  Dear Bully, Thank you. For all the times you made me aware of the tiny flaws in my being. Flaws that i had not created, flaws i could not remove. Thank you, for choosing just the perfect words to hurt me in a subtly cruel way.  For you, it might have been a moment, a few words, a conversation but to me, it costed me a life full of insecurities. Trying my best to hide them. Always feeling like the entire world saw me that way. Because of those few words of yours, i stopped appreciating myself. And started to look for validation from others.  I thought may be someone would tell me the exact opposite of what you had told me. But then when someone did tell me that. It was hard for me to accept it. So, Thanks to you for making it hard for me to believe in the good within me.  But then, thank you for making me the tough person that i am. I can't say i respect you. I can not make myself respect you, ever.  But if it wasn't for people like you, people like me would never become as

This world seemed utopic the moment they met. The moon was shining a bit brighter and the sky was studded with stars that night. The breeze was gentle carrying the scent of roses from a garden near by. Everything ordinary appeared extra beautiful.  Its was love at first sight... They waited for hours, days and months to get to see each other again wondering what the other person was doing. Were they in love with them as much. Or had they already forgotten them. Impatient to talk to eachother.  Fate worked in their favour finally.  A new story began : The Spring:   They saw gardens and sunset and birds and buterflies, held hand and heard together the nature's songs. The Summer :  It was a blazing season that year but even the heat had nothing to hold infront of their passion. They thought they kill for one another. But sometimes they would argue so much so someone might have thought they could kill each other. The Autumn :  Everything started to fall apart. There were more arguments

What's holding you back? A little promise made a long time ago? A promise made by someone who probably doesn't even remember it himself? Someone who has shoved you off the hill a million times for their own convenience. You were there, when they chose to unsee your existence. Oh how it broke your heart, as you watched that once so familiar pass you by. and that little amount of time you felt so far apart. A little tear swimming in the bounds of your eyes, cause you were so afraid of someone seeing it. Your weary heart trying to keep with the erratic breathing of chest. You knew them as much as they claimed you didn't. and you loved them even more than that.  How you longed to go back in the time just to live those little moments full of happiness once again and how you wished to relive them over and over again and how you prayed you could have avoided the situation that ended in them leaving you altogether. How you cursed yourself for all the wrong in you. How much you w

A heartache so severe it broke his heart in two. But so familliar and addiciting that the scars were not a few. Heart broken and mended in the similar spot a million times.  A vicious cycle of hurt and happiness. He had become addicted to. Causing storms in the calm sea for a little thrill_some adrenaline. Intentionally causing thunders become so eratic, it hit him in the heart and broke it in two. The storm usually calmed after that. And the reparative phase would begin a little rain and a little sun shine followed by tiny little blossoms and chirping of the birds. But soon he would get too used to it waiting for the storm to begin soon.  He was addicited to the hurt. The lonely dessert of broken hearts had become his home. He visited the sunny beach and the green oasis, in the neighbourhood, every now and then, but he longed to be here in the end, all by himself_ Alone. May be it was a scared little part of him. Reminding him a fearful memory from the past where he was left alone in

So you say, you loved them and so you wanted to protect it from all the bad that had happened to you. You wanted them to not scar in the spots as you. You didn't want them to shed tears on their pillows every night. But that made you grow, didn't it. Thats what matured you. Thats what made you in the person you are today. And don't you think you would most likely repeat the same mistakes in again, given the chance?   Then why do you think halting someone's most needed experience in the process of growth is loving? Do we all not break our hearts once or twice? Do we all not yearn for something so bad, something that we end up losing? Do we all not get tired every night after a long day of running after things that are never ours? Do we all not cry every night or a night every week or month over the things that made our hearts ache? But then did we not learn from it? Did we not learn how to heal our hearts? Did we not learn how to give up our most precious belongings for

"Mom, my stomach hurts!"  "My life pains me. Its like the longer I live the more it hurts with every passing day." Pain__A similar sensation____BUT different origin. In medical terms pain is described as: " Pain  is a signal in your nervous system that something may be wrong. It is an unpleasant feeling, such as a prick, tingle, sting, burn, or ache . "   So, in the light of above definition, pain is an indicator of any injury that may have happened to the body. Now, the question is;  But what is the mental pain we go through? The worst kind of pain that has no underlying medical cause? That is overlooked and ignored by everyone. Still we have got to learn to live our difficult lives with it. A life that constantly adds to it.  Lets see what psychology says about it. A  Psychological pain  (aka  mental pain  or  emotional pain)  is an unpleasant feeling of  non-physical (psychological) origin . As kids, we all have very li